Knockin' on Heaven's Door
Simplicity exists on a spectrum. At one far edge of that spectrum is blind ignorance, and at the other end is exactness.
Spending weeks walking through unbound open space during a long distance backpacking trip lies on this spectrum of simplicity, nestled near exactness. It is the kind of simplicity rife with complex hues of intricacy and ultra fine gradation. From the tangles that naturally arise upon spending 24 hours of every day among the wildness, to the smooth sense of existence that spreads through your soul over the course of unfettered weeks with dirt and daydreams. Long distance backpacking, like Mom Nature herself, is exact in its simplicity; direct in challenge, channeled in beauty, narrow in grace, singular in focus, and non-frivolous in reward…
There is a pristine world out there up above 10,000 feet. A world situated within the pillowy clouds of sunny mornings, the twirling thunderstorms of windy afternoons, and the shiny darkness of the night. A world of rugged mountain ridges and few other raggedy, feral human wanderers.
I wish I could say it is a terrible world up there, and that the journey to it is useless. Selfishly I wish I could convince you that the untainted landscapes that now breeze so easily through my idle mind and exist so close to my heart are unremarkable. That the price of admission for getting to this world -your own blood, sweat, and tears- is much too high for the quality of experience offered to you in return. I wish I could honestly say that living out of your backpack for weeks and sleeping under the bright beautiful star spun sky is far too difficult and sorely overrated.
But the truth is, adventuring across the land on foot is more remarkable, and life affirming, and sensational than probably anything else you could do with your time in this day and age. Sure, the challenge is immense and at times torturing. But, as heady as it may seem when it strikes you, the challenge is merely one piece of the puzzle; and in the end if you are paying attention, like many of the challenges you will face in life, the tough stuff somehow fits perfectly into the larger landscape of the experience as a whole. Challenge makes sense up there, and it deserves to exist in the same way beauty and mystery and joy does.
You see, Nature has every right to be strenuous, for she has stayed wild all these years. It is we who have tamed and softened ourselves. I could write you a list of things that make backpacking difficult and an undesirable life experience-from tough climbs, to panic attacks, to navigational mistakes, to injuries, to running out of toilet paper, to hot headed arguments. But these flashes of difficulty, although interesting tales of conflict and perseverance, are not the moments that dominate being in the wild. And even though the struggles build character and inspire you to grow as a person, they are not the experiences that affect you most profoundly. No, far more interesting, prolific, and pervasive are the wondrous and enjoyable moments. The big gusts of wind that blow you off your feet, a glimpse of Mom Nature herself unsheathing her jagged blade of uncompromising beauty. And with one exact squall she slices you open straight to your core; straight to your true, simple self.
Photo Credit : Geoff Wright - T. B. Yeet Feather
The joy I find off the beaten path is a joy that comes easy. Living among the bits and pieces of wild left on this planet is a breath of fresh air. There are no mirrors, so my own appearance and the appearance of others is utterly impossible to be concerned about. Rushing doesn’t exist. Lao Tzu is true and honest when he says, “ Nature does not hurry, yet everything is accomplished”. The water runs clean and clear and pure. Lovely purple and yellow flowers grow out from under rocks. Blood red algae grows on blindingly white snow fields that never disappears under the fire of the sun. The mystery of the universe meets me every night in the bright blanket of stars above. Mortality seeks me each day through the dance of life and death that plays out before my very eyes, the undulations of predator and prey that call the mountains home. Pain is accepted as inevitable rather than being avoided and feared as the worst case scenario. And discomfort becomes my persistent friend and teacher rather than the enemy waiting in the wings.
Job, social status, money, material possessions, cares, and all the other rather uninteresting aspects of my daily life get me nowhere up in that pristine world. The only thing that gets me anywhere is whatever degree of grit and presence I have cultivated on the inside of myself, the shades of acceptance and layers of willingness I have painted across the screen of my own mind. The trust I have in my body, the focus I zoom in on with my mind, and the connection to my highest self - spirit - are the things I carry most ardently.
The strength of your own spirit is your value and currency out there; that, and hope. The unwavering hope that whatever spirit or soul you’ve given yourself access to on the inside will reflect out and keep powering your feet forward. Will keep inspiring you to climb that mountain, scramble over that tallis field, take that photo, feel that feeling, and walk another damn mile in your own shoes.
The tough times on the trail teach you the power of simplicity, and the power in surrounding yourself with beauty. The magnitude of that beauty, as it perpetually changes and evolves and unleashes its full potential right before your eyes, shows you that you are worthy of that amount of beauty in your life. That you are worthy of that amount of aliveness in your self, and that regardless of the challenges that arise along your path you should keep walking towards it.
The unbound body of Mother Nature is a thriving, pulsing cacophony of uniqueness and presence, and each detail of her frees another scrap of your soul from the conformity of the civilized - the boxes we limit ourselves and others with. You are so much more than you ever thought you were. And you are capable of so much more than you ever thought you could be.
And so I’ll leave us both with this reminder…
That self discovery is at the root of any adventure, and the spirit of adventure will always be a gateway to freedom in the mind, body, and soul. So do not forget to be let it all go and be free from time to time.
(Check out the “Drifter’s Escape// Photo blog” for more about this trip)